A Father and Son. Anak, Ano'ng Gusto Mo Paglaki? (Son, what do you want when you grow up?)

That was the question my father would always ask. And I will cheerfully say "Gusto ko'ng mag-drawing!" (I wanna draw!). That was the least that I could remember. I was in fond of drawing when I was in kindergarten. Even now.

Whenever I've accomplished a drawing, I'll give it to my mom and she would ask me to write to my dad. The drawing will be slipped together with the letter and will be send via airmail (snailmail not e-mail) to Saudi.

Sometime years ago, back in college I think, he let me show one of my letters to him. I laughed and somehow embarrassed because the wordings are child-like. The letters will always start with the greeting "Dear Daddy, Kumusta kayo daddy. Sana nasa mabuti kayong kalagayan..." (Dear Daddy, How are you daddy. I hope you're in good condition). And then I could still remember the drawing inside the envelope. It was Donatello of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (in colored marker).  And would you believe I even used the tracing technique?

When I stepped elementary, I've read on my horoscope that I could be an engineer, an architect, a painter or a lawyer. And it says that I have a weak in the knee. Then my dad said "Kunin mo Computer Science kasi hindi mo gugustuhing magbuhat ng mabibigat" (Take Computer Science because you wouldn't want to carry heavy things). That figures the weak in the knee. 

One of my drawings during college.

When I finished High School, I said I'll pursue being an artist. I'm gonna take Fine Arts either in Philippine Women's University or University of Santo Tomas. But my dad hindered me for continuing my childhood dream. Instead, he firmly insisted me to take Computer Science. I couldn't do anything. So I did took it.

Titled "Night of the Fireflies"

So here comes College. The first semester was a blast! I couldn't describe it if it was the angst or simply the passion of becoming a college student. I've met new companions, new environment and trends. Reaction papers, the deadlines and the new challenges. It felt like I'm in the right current. "I could embrace this", I said. But that was until I failed a subject. I couldn't put it into words but during those days, something hit me big time. And it hit me pretty bad. I've stopped for a year. I went to Ilocos to settle my mind.

During my stay, I did a lot of thinking. I would sit behind the window, feel grateful about the surroundings, and draw. Then my Aunt saw what I was doing. Then she said "Ba't hindi mo kinuha ang kursong Fine Arts?" (Why didn't you took Fine Arts?). I forgot what my reply was. (I would have scoffed).


I couldn't blame my dad. All he ever wanted was what's best for me.

Years had passed. I graduated college, got a fine job, and granted with a son.

Becoming a father is not an easy task. And somehow I finally understand what my father has gone through.

But how to become a responsible father? To answer this, I've asked some of my colleagues and a friends. Question #1: When your child grew up, what will be the best advice for him? And Question #2: What will you advice to other fathers like you?

Rogel and his son Vince

Rogel, "Wow" for short is a friend and an office-mate of mine.


Answer #1: Dream Big & Believe! Stay humble & Stay away from bad influences.
Answer #2: Be a responsible father and be a good role model to their children.

Sam and his daughter ... Sam (with wife Ems)

Samuel, Sam for short (but I prefer to call his lastname, Cardel) is one of my closest best friend since high school.

Answer #1:  "Kung anu yung naranasan ko hanggang maging isang ama, yun ang maipapayo ko sa kanya kasi mas-magandang ipayo mo sa kanya yung mga 'yun dahil alam mo kung san ka nagkamali at naging tama...and LRT...learn how to Love, Respect, and Trust other people and family and syempre si God." (The experiences I've had until I became a father, from commiting mistakes and getting right back back again would be the best lesson to be given as an advice...and LRT...learn how to Love, Respect, and Trust other people, your family, and most of all God.)

Answer #2: Maipapayo ko sa ibang mga dads...matuto clang makuntento kung anung klaseng family sila meron dahil isa sila sa gumawa nito, hehehehe. (My advice to other dads...they should learn how to be satisfied on the family they've had because they're the ones who's responsible for it.)

James and his son TJ

James or Bords is a friend and a former office-mate.

Answer #1: "Kapag ang anak ko ay lumaki at nagkaisip na, ang mapapayo ko lang sa kanya ay dapat sulitin nya bawat panahon na maging isang mabait , masunurin, mapagmahal na bata at lalo na maging malapit sa ating panginoon katulad namin ng asawa ko." (When my son grew up, my only advice I can give for him is to be a good, polite, kind-hearted child, putting God first rather than everything else, like me and my wife always do.

Answer #2: "Ang mapapayo ko naman sa ibang magulang, ang unang dapat nilang gawin ay magkaroon lagi ng panahon sa pamilya kasama ang ating panginoon. Igabay natin ang ating mga anak sa tamang landas na kung saan maiintindihan nila ang tunay na kahulugan ng buhay. God Bless U all =)". (My advice to other parents, they should always make time for their family and a time for our Lord. Let's guide them to the right path where they could fully understand the true meaning of life.)

Roel and his daughter Icoy

Roel or Oel is a friend and an office-mate.

Answer #1: "Lumaking may takot sa diyos may galang sa magulang at lumaking matalino." (To grow up with fear of God, respect to their parents, and to be bright).

Answer #2: Be a responsible father.

I want my son to become a better me, not to be better than everyone else.

Now, if I'd be given a chance to be young again, and if my father should ask me, I'm not gonna reply with "I wanna be like..." or "I wanna be a...". I'll just say  "Dad, paglaki ko, gusto ko lang nandiriyan pa rin kayo palagi." (Dad, when I grew up, all I want is for you to be always there).